Scenario: A man exiting an elevator in an office building and a beautiful woman, entering the same elevator, silently mouths the word “hi” and smiles at him as they pass each other.
Part 1: The walk-by
WHT: She’s totally into me. Do I know her?
WST: Isn’t that John from accounting? I wonder if he remembers that time he sent my paycheck to the wrong address and it took me three weeks to get paid? I was so pissed at him. Did he grow a beard? It’s kind of hot. Should I say Hi? I hate him.
*They walk past each other*
WST : Oh crap, this isn’t John at all. Why oh why don’t I get my eyes checked? Oh crap, it’s that creep, Steve from IT….but I have to say hi, because he is in IT and you have to be nice to IT people so they will come running when you have a computer problem….maybe I should throw a little flirt in? Just to…wait, no, then he will cyber-stalk me. Oh crap, my lips already started to move…oh SHIT!, why am I smiling! what have I done?? I hope he doesn’t recognize me…I hope he doesn’t recognize me…oh god, I can feel his eyes drilling holes into my ass…gotta push the button. *turns around* yep, there it is. Take a nice long look. *smiles awkwardly at him*
WHT: She’s totally into me.
Elapsed time:1 second
Part 2: As the doors close
WST: Creep. Thank God these elevator doors will close before he can take that total miscue and jump back in… Think happy thoughts…think happy thoughts…Kittens!” *smiles* Now let’s see, after work today I need to stop at the grocery store and pick up lettuce, tomato, green onions, hamburger…gosh, will these doors ever close? Is he really still staring at me?? Oh, and I can’t forget to call mom, and hmm, I wonder if my blue shoes will go with that black dress I bought yesterday *contemplates 311 factorial arrangement of clothes and shoes*
Oh thank god, they finally closed! These doors need a stalker button that closes the doors instantly….
Elapsed time: 3 seconds
Part 3, 20 minutes later: After thoughts.
WHT: She was totally into me. I should have made some excuse and jumped back in the elevator….
WST: What should I have for lunch?