{"id":269,"date":"2014-08-18T16:23:09","date_gmt":"2014-08-18T21:23:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/scorellis.com\/?p=269"},"modified":"2014-08-19T10:16:26","modified_gmt":"2014-08-19T15:16:26","slug":"eulogy-for-marilyn-swieck-how-to-make-fudge-and-be-a-good-person","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scorellis.com\/?p=269","title":{"rendered":"Eulogy for Marilyn Swieck (How to Make Fudge and be a Good Person)"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Fb-Button\"\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>
<\/fb:like><\/div><\/div>

Greetings, and good afternoon.\u00a0 My name is Scott. I am most honored to be here today, to talk to you about my Aunt Marilyn.<\/p>\n

These next few stories are slices from my life, my life with Marilyn and my family’s life with her. I don’t have much time to deliver this message, my cousins have threatened me with an undisclosed punishment should I take too long. So, some of my transitions will seem abrupt, and through it all, I’m going to interject bits and pieces of Aunt Marilyn’s fudge recipe, so please pay attention and keep your pens at ready. This will hopefully not be as all over the place as I am, but it probably will be. I\u2019ll make liberal use of strategic pauses.<\/span>

A few years ago, Marilyn and I made fudge together, and I captured it in a series of videos.\u00a0 The first step, she told me, was:<\/span>

*Get yourself a big, wooden spoon.\u00a0 Preferably one that says “chocolate only”<\/span>
—<\/span>
I don’t remember a world without my Aunt Marilyn.\u00a0 She was a familiar motif for me, in my never ending tangled up state, in my rush to understand everything.\u00a0 Her home always offered a calm, stable place.<\/span>

*butter just the sides of a heavy, 3 quart saucepan.<\/span>

—<\/span>
Marilyn meant so much to me and my family, that not mentioning the impact on my life that she had would be unfair, so forgive me if I seem to digress – everything here relates to Marilyn, and where and how I saw her in our lives.<\/span>

*add 4 cups granulated sugar.<\/span>

For the past few weeks,\u00a0 I’ve had this song going through my head, and it has this motif, this concept of home, of the moon being in my side, of angels not arriving, and being able to hear the choir. So there\u2019s that, this concept of home that Marilyn understood, and that I learned from her.\u00a0 I remember her playing Blue Moon.<\/span>

*Add one 14.5 ounce can of evaporated milk<\/span>
—<\/span>
I did not know what I wanted to be when I grew up.\u00a0 But every year, at Christmas time and at my birthday, I would receive books.\u00a0 Books on astronomy, on nature, works of fiction, and then of course there was the penguin mug.\u00a0 I still have most of these gifts.\u00a0 That was the thing about Marilyn, she gave thoughtful, helpful gifts, and education was important to her – as a result, it became important to me, and to my children as well.<\/span>

*Mix it up before you put the margarine in.<\/span>
—<\/span>

My wife’s mother passed away 9 months before we got married, and this created a deep void in our lives. Aunt Marilyn was there for us during the very difficult grieving that followed, and I don’t think I ever thanked her\u00a0enough<\/span>

*add 1 cup land-o-lakes. because grandpa didn’t think there was anything else.\u00a0 Cut it up, 6 or 7 times per bar so that it melts<\/span>
—<\/span>

When my son Ethan was born, Marilyn came and stayed with us for a week. She helped around the house, did laundry, cooked, and taught me that how you fold your towels depends entirely on the shape of the cabinet where you store them. We had just been folding them randomly and stuffing them in. She referred to our dog as her favorite area rug. He was half Great Dane.<\/span>

*Turn on the stove, setting it to just below medium.\u00a0 It really shouldn’t take you more than 45 minutes to make the fudge.<\/span>

—<\/span>

*now just let it melt.\u00a0 Don’t stir it.<\/span>

It was maybe ten years ago or so, I used my engineering and carpentry skills to install a handrail for Marilyn at her house – she had a short flight of stairs that had no rail. I told her I would take care of it. She gave me no requirements- she didn’t have to. It was Marilyn, and so it would be strong, beautiful, and it would last. \u00a0That something could be made better, stronger, and made to last, by these hands, became a standard in my life on that day.<\/span>

*As the concoction on your stove warms, it boils up.\u00a0 Let it.\u00a0 Some recipes say to not stir it, but you can stir it every now and then.<\/span>
—<\/span>
I remember forgetting to return the library books I borrowed from Oak Park library, and my absolute terror that she would find out.Well, she was the head of circulation so I’m thinking she might have known. I don\u2019t even remember if I returned them – if there is anyone here from the Oak Park library, please see me after the service for a donation…<\/span>

*cook over medium heat to soft ball stage (236 degrees) or maybe a little below medium.\u00a0 It cooks longer, but you won’t get it [to come out right] as..as much.<\/span>

—<\/span>
When Ethan was 11 months old, we (my wife and I), drove to Ohio with Marilyn. She rode in the back with Ethan the entire way. At this time, he was all “gibahbah*pbbbbbt” he had no words yet<\/span>

*In the video, Marilyn changes her mind and says, \u201cOk, stir it more than you have to…and don’t worry if you scorch it a little.\u00a0 Dark pieces might come up, but they’ll blend in with the chocolate.\u00a0 Nobody will know.\u201d<\/span>

On the way back from Ohio, I think my wife was driving, and I looked at Ethan,\u00a0 point at Marilyn and say “Aunt Marilyn” and he looks right at her, then at me, and he says, as clear as a bell , “no, Nana!” It was his first word, and the name stuck. “Nana.”<\/span>

*To perform a softball test, take a little bit of the batter into your spoon and pour it into really cold water.\u00a0 Dump the water out, and see how the fudge is.\u00a0 Is it fudgy? Does it have substance?<\/span>
—<\/span>
Now, I’m sitting in an Italian Restaurant a couple of nights ago – all the most important events of my life have taken place in Italian Restaurants – and I’m writing this, and trying not to cry into my lasagna, and I’m thinking of my daughter, who left her sweater here, the sweater that she wore the last times she went to see her Nana.<\/span>

I think it was last Tuesday or Wednesday, not this past one, the one before, that Elaine took Addie to see Marilyn that last time, wearing that wonderful sweater, with all her colors and her twirling, flouncing, bounce, Marilyn awakened, and in a strong voice, says \u201cOh my goodness gracious, look at you,\u201d and she held out her hand to her. Those would be her last words.<\/span>

—<\/span>
*1 heaping, rounded serving spoon of marshmallow fluff. So that was the secret, a heaping, flouncing, bouncing serving spoon of marshmallow fluff.\u00a0<\/span>

Recently, I was taking a class and the instructor asked me how I felt about being there, and I said, “I’m excited to be here!”\u00a0\u00a0I think a big part of life involves always being excited to see people, and one thing is certain, is Marilyn was always excited to see people.\u00a0<\/span>

*add one 12 ounce package semisweet chocolate pieces and a couple of small Hershey bars.<\/span>
*1 teaspoon vanilla<\/span>
–<\/span>
For the past few weeks, while this song was going through my head, this entire time, we: Marilyn, my cousins and my children and my wife, and all of us, waited for the angels to come, to carry her Home.<\/span>

I am thankful for the definition of home that she taught all of us, and I know we will carry it for the rest of our lives in our hearts, and in our minds.<\/span>

*Once the pour has fully settled, score while warm, let cool, and call for someone to come, and carry it home.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Greetings, and good afternoon.\u00a0 My name is Scott. I am most honored to be here today, to talk to you about my Aunt Marilyn. These next few stories are slices from my life, my life with Marilyn and my family’s … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,17,14],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-269","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-family","category-relationship","category-writing-and-speaking"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/scorellis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/269","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/scorellis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/scorellis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scorellis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scorellis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=269"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/scorellis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/269\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":271,"href":"https:\/\/scorellis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/269\/revisions\/271"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/scorellis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=269"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scorellis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=269"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scorellis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=269"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}